thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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