I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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