Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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