I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
