**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My bed smells like the plague
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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