We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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