Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
