just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
