so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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