And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize