Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
