why didn't you poke me back
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
