Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize