I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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