if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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