So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
