I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize