GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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