I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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