Already got asked if we're dating
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
