We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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