Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
