Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
