so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
