dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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