I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
