So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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