This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
