Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
