This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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