But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
