I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
