spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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