I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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