Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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