Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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