So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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