And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
