Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
