return my video game
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
