Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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