she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
