All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
