duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
whose parrot is this?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
