vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
