This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
