She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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