i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
