and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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