just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
