Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
