I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he was CRYING into my vagina
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
