He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
