watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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