trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
