omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
