my text book just quoted the cookie monster
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
