dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
