It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
