just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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