i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
