I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
