I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
