he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
