I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
