I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
