I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize