that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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