ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We smell like vodka and hangover
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