That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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