hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
