sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
