I seem to have left my pride at pride
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
