my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There r osticjed everywhere
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
